I love it!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
The Nobel Peace Prize: Miley Was Robbed.
Hearing the news that Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, my immediate reaction was anger, then shock.... I believe that the Nobel Committee made a serious and grave error. After watching Miley Cyrus' new video for Party in the USA, it should be clear that Miley should have won. What better way to eradicate our tarnished world image than this video? I think the French will forgive Freedom Fries after hearing Party in the USA. I think after hearing Party in the USA, Kim Jong Il will be all "Hey Dudes, you and that cute, sassy teen just want to party. Let's be friends" I think that the homeless will hear this song, and get inspired. They'll be like "I'm tired of this hobo, crack addict lifestyle. Miley inspired me to do better!" I think that people with opposing views about Universal Healthcare will hear Party in the USA and have a realization that we're all Americans that just want to party.
Party in the USA is to the new millenium, as Rodney King saying "can't we all just get along?" was to the 90s. Party in the USA is our generation's "Give Peace a Chance"
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
It's been a really big week in the news....
First Kanye fucks with Taylor Swift at the VMAs and EVERYONE is talking about it:
Then Patrick Swayze dies:
(thanks zeebs for the photo)
Like the Bobby Brown/Whitney Houston duet "Something in Common" suggests... Whitney admitted to Oprah this week that indeed her and Bobby had something in common... that being smoking crack:
Then Patrick Swayze dies:
(thanks zeebs for the photo)
Like the Bobby Brown/Whitney Houston duet "Something in Common" suggests... Whitney admitted to Oprah this week that indeed her and Bobby had something in common... that being smoking crack:
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Stars Don't Lie
I find this sorta funny... My BFF 4 Lyfe and my soon-to-be Hubbie have pretty much the same astrological chart. It's no wonder that my two fave-rave people are sorta the same person according to the stars.
BFF:
Rising: Libra
Sun: Leo
Moon: Cancer
Mercury: Virgo
Venus: Virgo
Mars: Virgo
Jupiter: Cancer
Saturn: Virgo
Husband-To-Be:
Rising: Libra
Sun: Leo
Moon: Pisces
Mercury: Leo
Venus: Cancer
Mars: Virgo
Jupiter: Pisces
Saturn: Cancer
BFF:
Rising: Libra
Sun: Leo
Moon: Cancer
Mercury: Virgo
Venus: Virgo
Mars: Virgo
Jupiter: Cancer
Saturn: Virgo
Husband-To-Be:
Rising: Libra
Sun: Leo
Moon: Pisces
Mercury: Leo
Venus: Cancer
Mars: Virgo
Jupiter: Pisces
Saturn: Cancer
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Again, My Question to you American Apparel is....
REALLY?! I mean, come on....
And for $30? REALLY? You simply must be joking.
And for $30? REALLY? You simply must be joking.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
For Michael Jackson
I will be pouring out a 40oz for you tonight. I will miss you and your shiny gloves and your sassy dance moves. I don't believe that you touched Corey Feldman inappropriately. And I think that whole era of Bubbles the Monkey as a sidekick was pretty awesome.
Love,
Marisa
Friday, May 29, 2009
The world is really shitting on celebrities who make hair risks...
First, the media gets all down on the Jon & Kate Plus 8 mom and her reverse mullet. And then Phil Spector gets 19 years in the pokey for "murder" (i'm using big air quotes right now)... It seems as if there is a real witch hunt right now for people who choose to creatively express themselves with their hair.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Pete Wentz Backlash is Bananas
I posted a few months ago about how I'd rather die a slow death than have Pete Wentz copulate within a five feet range of me.... Well apparently the kids when they're googling for pete wentz guyliner tips somehow run across my blog.... and they are mad as hell, you guys. Their love for Pete Wentz runs DEEP.
Here's a few of my faves:
xxRoCkOn4EvAaHxx said...
wth ish rong wiff pete wentz? him nd his band r awrshum
APRIL 4, 2009 1:55 AM
You know what, xxRockOn4EvAHxx? You're right there is nothing wrong with Pete Wentz. But there is something wrong with your spelling. I think you need to get off blogger and get back to 7th grade. Clearly your love of Fall Out Boy is causing your grades to suffer.
Anonymous said...
PETE WENTZ IS AWESOME! SHUT UP!!! GUYLINER IS FLIPPING HOT!
APRIL 15, 2009 9:34 AM
Hey anonymous, if you love Pete Wentz and his use of eyeliner so much... why don't you use your actual name? It's because you're secretly ashamed, aren't you? It's ok. I understand.
pete said...
Pete wentz is one of the hottest guys alive so who ever made this blog sucks. by the way dont talk about him in your opinions you are big fat skank.
APRIL 21, 2009 5:37 PM
Pete? Is this actually Pete Wentz? I have a question for you... When you're humping John Mayer, does he ever tell you that your body is a wonderland?
I'm really sorry about all the terrible things I said about Pete Wentz. Clearly these insightful comments have changed my mind. Thanks bloggers! You're the best!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
American Apparel: WTF?
Dear American Apparel,
What the actual fuck. This time you've gone too far.
Sincerely,
Marisa
What the actual fuck. This time you've gone too far.
Sincerely,
Marisa
Saturday, February 21, 2009
It's as if my life is a scene from Swingers.
Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
Rob: You don't call.
Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob: Right.
Mike: So I don't call either way?
Rob: Right.
Mike: So what's the difference?
Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
Rob: Right.
Mike: Well that sucks.
Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
Mike: What do you mean?
Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Rob: You don't call.
Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob: Right.
Mike: So I don't call either way?
Rob: Right.
Mike: So what's the difference?
Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
Rob: Right.
Mike: Well that sucks.
Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
Mike: What do you mean?
Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I have a friend Lisa... Who I could liken as the playboy bunny to my Hugh Hefner. She makes me feel young again. I've decided that anything she invites me to ends up being magical... We had been acquintances for awhile.... Every time we would run into each other we would make lofty plans to hang out.... but then life gets all up in your business, and we never ended up kicking it....
So a couple of months ago Lisa calls me out of the blue and says, "There's this party with a couple of bands playing down on 22nd Street in SF, you should come!.... Oh! And you'll need to know the password, it's 'ride the lightening'..." So of course, any party with an actual password to get in... And an actual password as ruling as 'ride the lightening', I'm of course stoked.... Now I'd like to think I'm pretty hip with what the kids are doing these days.... But hanging with Lisa makes me feel like I have no clue. My finger is not on the pulse of hipness clearly. But luckily, she's getting me back in touch with what the young folks are into.... So this party is being held in the basement of a house. The basement is packed. The people that live there aren't allowing anyone into their house to use the bathroom. They have a bucket with a hole in the bottom of it placed over a drain in their backyard for people to use. There's a tarp rigged up for privacy and a sign on the tarp with something along the lines of "no crapping in the bucket"... The band playing was called Nobunny.... So here's the deal with this band. In a weird way they kinda reminded me of the rolling stones or one of the 60s British Invasion bands, and the singer shimmies and jives in a very Mick Jagger kind of way... But the singer performs in an actual bunny mask. It's kinda the best thing I ever saw.... If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself:
Fast forward to a few weeks later... The next show we went to was Thorns of Life.... Which is the singer from Jawbreaker's new band.... Any of you ladies that were into punk rock in the 90s know about Blake (insert Dream Weaver song here).... He was the consummate dreamboat punk hottie.... The show is at this record store/house in the mission. The house looks like it's on the verge of being condemned.... Like a strong gust of wind could make the place crumble to pieces. He performed in the basement, and again, it's totally packed.... And out walks lil' hottie, Blake... He's literally an arms distance away from us. Rad. He finished his set and everyone was filing out, Lisa leans in and whispers to me "I have to touch him".... So as we walk by him, she reaches out and gently taps her finger on his arm. He looks over sort of confused and she smiles and waves at him. Totally priceless.
Last night was our latest adventure into the world of rad. So it's Valentine's Day and there were no heart shaped boxes of chocolate, no baby's breath or red roses.... Instead there was thrash metal at the Gilman. I think it's safe to say that I haven't ventured to the Gilman since the 90s.... Definitely not since I have been of drinking age. And the Gilman is still a no booze all ages establishment. So me and Lisa bring a water bottle of the finest whiskey ever, Canadian Mist and proceed to get our buzz on in the parking lot.... Outside there is an actual sea of teenage metal heads. Dudes with beautiful flowing manes of Cliff Burton-esque hair. Girls wearing jean jackets with huge Metallica patches on the back and puffy white sneakers. I really felt like I could have found a metal head boyfriend there, if not for that whole statutory rape thing. We walk in and the place looks exactly the same, spray painted walls, creepy scabies infested bathroom, etc etc... I'm pretty sure I could have been old enough to be the mom of any the members of the band playing. Their songs were about the usual metal fare, war, death, what have you.... However, they closed with a song about pizza. Because they "really love pizza". I had to hold myself back from walking up to the stage and pinching his cheeks and calling him "precious". The guitar player had the most beautiful hair ever. I'm pretty sure he uses Pantene Pro-V because it had body for days. He whipped it around and head banged while he shredded nasty on the guitar. And of course, there was an actual mosh pit.
It actually ended up being the best Valentines Day I have ever had.... Any future boyfriend of mine will have to beat thrash metal, canadian mist and the gilman for Valentines Day plans... Sorry dudes, it's a tough act to follow.
So a couple of months ago Lisa calls me out of the blue and says, "There's this party with a couple of bands playing down on 22nd Street in SF, you should come!.... Oh! And you'll need to know the password, it's 'ride the lightening'..." So of course, any party with an actual password to get in... And an actual password as ruling as 'ride the lightening', I'm of course stoked.... Now I'd like to think I'm pretty hip with what the kids are doing these days.... But hanging with Lisa makes me feel like I have no clue. My finger is not on the pulse of hipness clearly. But luckily, she's getting me back in touch with what the young folks are into.... So this party is being held in the basement of a house. The basement is packed. The people that live there aren't allowing anyone into their house to use the bathroom. They have a bucket with a hole in the bottom of it placed over a drain in their backyard for people to use. There's a tarp rigged up for privacy and a sign on the tarp with something along the lines of "no crapping in the bucket"... The band playing was called Nobunny.... So here's the deal with this band. In a weird way they kinda reminded me of the rolling stones or one of the 60s British Invasion bands, and the singer shimmies and jives in a very Mick Jagger kind of way... But the singer performs in an actual bunny mask. It's kinda the best thing I ever saw.... If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself:
Fast forward to a few weeks later... The next show we went to was Thorns of Life.... Which is the singer from Jawbreaker's new band.... Any of you ladies that were into punk rock in the 90s know about Blake (insert Dream Weaver song here).... He was the consummate dreamboat punk hottie.... The show is at this record store/house in the mission. The house looks like it's on the verge of being condemned.... Like a strong gust of wind could make the place crumble to pieces. He performed in the basement, and again, it's totally packed.... And out walks lil' hottie, Blake... He's literally an arms distance away from us. Rad. He finished his set and everyone was filing out, Lisa leans in and whispers to me "I have to touch him".... So as we walk by him, she reaches out and gently taps her finger on his arm. He looks over sort of confused and she smiles and waves at him. Totally priceless.
Last night was our latest adventure into the world of rad. So it's Valentine's Day and there were no heart shaped boxes of chocolate, no baby's breath or red roses.... Instead there was thrash metal at the Gilman. I think it's safe to say that I haven't ventured to the Gilman since the 90s.... Definitely not since I have been of drinking age. And the Gilman is still a no booze all ages establishment. So me and Lisa bring a water bottle of the finest whiskey ever, Canadian Mist and proceed to get our buzz on in the parking lot.... Outside there is an actual sea of teenage metal heads. Dudes with beautiful flowing manes of Cliff Burton-esque hair. Girls wearing jean jackets with huge Metallica patches on the back and puffy white sneakers. I really felt like I could have found a metal head boyfriend there, if not for that whole statutory rape thing. We walk in and the place looks exactly the same, spray painted walls, creepy scabies infested bathroom, etc etc... I'm pretty sure I could have been old enough to be the mom of any the members of the band playing. Their songs were about the usual metal fare, war, death, what have you.... However, they closed with a song about pizza. Because they "really love pizza". I had to hold myself back from walking up to the stage and pinching his cheeks and calling him "precious". The guitar player had the most beautiful hair ever. I'm pretty sure he uses Pantene Pro-V because it had body for days. He whipped it around and head banged while he shredded nasty on the guitar. And of course, there was an actual mosh pit.
It actually ended up being the best Valentines Day I have ever had.... Any future boyfriend of mine will have to beat thrash metal, canadian mist and the gilman for Valentines Day plans... Sorry dudes, it's a tough act to follow.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Haim puts Dolphins in my bloodstream.
I know I've posted this video a million times. But I don't care. This is the best thing on the internets hands down.
You can also gain really useful insights and life lessons. And I quote "The direction in my life that I guess I'm uh, trying to proceed with um in the business, um is gradually from being the little boy, you know the younger brother to being the older brother or the ONLY brother." me too, haim. me too. And check out Haim rocking out on the keys. Talk about a jack of all trades.
You can also gain really useful insights and life lessons. And I quote "The direction in my life that I guess I'm uh, trying to proceed with um in the business, um is gradually from being the little boy, you know the younger brother to being the older brother or the ONLY brother." me too, haim. me too. And check out Haim rocking out on the keys. Talk about a jack of all trades.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
http://fuckyeahryangosling.tumblr.com/
I have made the decision that I am currently saving myself for Ryan Gosling. So I found a website posing the question, what if Ryan Gosling was your boyfriend?... Whoever made this is getting a big fat cyber kiss on the mouth from me. Furthermore, I would also like to point out that I really believe that me and The Gos could be very happy together. If I had any type of computer skillz, mine would read: Hey Girl, Let's Open Up Joint Checking Accounts.
I have made the decision that I am currently saving myself for Ryan Gosling. So I found a website posing the question, what if Ryan Gosling was your boyfriend?... Whoever made this is getting a big fat cyber kiss on the mouth from me. Furthermore, I would also like to point out that I really believe that me and The Gos could be very happy together. If I had any type of computer skillz, mine would read: Hey Girl, Let's Open Up Joint Checking Accounts.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Later for You, 2008.
This year is coming to a close… and what a strange year it has been. It began with being in love with my dream dude and really feeling like the universe finally gave me my big payoff. And now the year is ending with me feeling like my heart has been roundhouse kicked and living back with my parents. This world is a trip…. So whatever, as much as I’d like to wallow in a pool of my own self-pity… I know that I’ve got to look at the positives… So here’s a breakdown of some thoughts about the shit that’s happened in the past few months since the great breakup of 2008 occurred.
1) I have been reading like the dickens. Some really great novels. A few embarrassing self-help type books. And my friend introduced me to the world of trashy romance novels. She said I needed something trivial and fun to get my mind off things. The one she loaned me involved vampire dudes that wanted nothing more in this world than to get it on with the ladies. There was lots of use of words like “thrust” and “grope”…. These romance novels are no joke. I’m pretty sure I blushed the entire way through.
2) I purchased a car!!! I decided that I have spent the last five years riding the pee-pee, hobo laden San Francisco muni system … I feel like that’s enough time to justify “helping the environment” or whatever… And I am a lady for pete’s sake, I’m tired of having to wait in Bart/Amtrak/Muni stations amongst the “little people”… I’m better than that!..... And if you’d like a ride… now is my time to pay it forward. Booyah!
3) I have fallen right back into my role as the moody teenager with my parents. I spend a lot of time in my room watching movies. My parents being, wave of the future, high tech types, own an extensive VHS collection. So I’ve been catching up on all the forgettable films of the 90s. I am now convinced that a) Meg Ryan is in every single movie made during the 90s. b) Luscious Jackson is on every 90s movie soundtrack.... America clearly no longer has any love for either of them.
4) I have clocked in tons of hours on BART commuting back and forth to work… this time has allowed me to hone my crossword skills (I can now kick Tuesday’s ass on NY Times crosswords), I have taught myself Sodoku and my brain age according to my Nintendo DS is officially 27…… (that was also officially the nerdiest paragraph I have ever typed. Excuse me while I give myself a wedgie)
5) I have really great friends who have allowed me to lose my shit on the regular and have given me lots of words of encouragement. So I'd like to give a shout out to you, friends... You rule!
So here's to 2009 sucking less than 2008. Hopefully everyone has a happy and healthy year.
xoxoxo
1) I have been reading like the dickens. Some really great novels. A few embarrassing self-help type books. And my friend introduced me to the world of trashy romance novels. She said I needed something trivial and fun to get my mind off things. The one she loaned me involved vampire dudes that wanted nothing more in this world than to get it on with the ladies. There was lots of use of words like “thrust” and “grope”…. These romance novels are no joke. I’m pretty sure I blushed the entire way through.
2) I purchased a car!!! I decided that I have spent the last five years riding the pee-pee, hobo laden San Francisco muni system … I feel like that’s enough time to justify “helping the environment” or whatever… And I am a lady for pete’s sake, I’m tired of having to wait in Bart/Amtrak/Muni stations amongst the “little people”… I’m better than that!..... And if you’d like a ride… now is my time to pay it forward. Booyah!
3) I have fallen right back into my role as the moody teenager with my parents. I spend a lot of time in my room watching movies. My parents being, wave of the future, high tech types, own an extensive VHS collection. So I’ve been catching up on all the forgettable films of the 90s. I am now convinced that a) Meg Ryan is in every single movie made during the 90s. b) Luscious Jackson is on every 90s movie soundtrack.... America clearly no longer has any love for either of them.
4) I have clocked in tons of hours on BART commuting back and forth to work… this time has allowed me to hone my crossword skills (I can now kick Tuesday’s ass on NY Times crosswords), I have taught myself Sodoku and my brain age according to my Nintendo DS is officially 27…… (that was also officially the nerdiest paragraph I have ever typed. Excuse me while I give myself a wedgie)
5) I have really great friends who have allowed me to lose my shit on the regular and have given me lots of words of encouragement. So I'd like to give a shout out to you, friends... You rule!
So here's to 2009 sucking less than 2008. Hopefully everyone has a happy and healthy year.
xoxoxo
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Metallica: Holy Fucking Shit.
Metallica. Last Night.
When presale tickets went on sale for fan club members, I was all about it and swooped in right at 10am. Therefore, our seats were actually mind blowing. We were so close that you could actually see Metallica in full, sweaty rock mode. I figured, if there is any concert that I would want to sneak my camera in, this would be the one. So I put my patented cute-charm in overload when the lady was searching my bag. And it worked!...
Setlist:
1) That Was Just Your Life
2) The End of the Line
3) Creeping Death
4) For Whom The Bell Tolls
5) One
6) Broken, Beat & Scarred
7) Cyanide
8) Sad But True
9) The Unforgiven
10) All Nightmare Long
11) The Day That Never Comes
12) Master of Puppets
13) Blackened
14) Nothing Else Matters
15) Enter Sandman
16) Last Caress
17) Whiplash
18) Seek and Destroy
Sis and Sis. "Nothing Else Matters" December 20, 2008
Check out my Flickr Page for all the photos:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/12456833@N06/
When presale tickets went on sale for fan club members, I was all about it and swooped in right at 10am. Therefore, our seats were actually mind blowing. We were so close that you could actually see Metallica in full, sweaty rock mode. I figured, if there is any concert that I would want to sneak my camera in, this would be the one. So I put my patented cute-charm in overload when the lady was searching my bag. And it worked!...
Setlist:
1) That Was Just Your Life
2) The End of the Line
3) Creeping Death
4) For Whom The Bell Tolls
5) One
6) Broken, Beat & Scarred
7) Cyanide
8) Sad But True
9) The Unforgiven
10) All Nightmare Long
11) The Day That Never Comes
12) Master of Puppets
13) Blackened
14) Nothing Else Matters
15) Enter Sandman
16) Last Caress
17) Whiplash
18) Seek and Destroy
Sis and Sis. "Nothing Else Matters" December 20, 2008
Check out my Flickr Page for all the photos:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/12456833@N06/
Friday, December 19, 2008
My Xmas Wish List.
1) This is a floating Jesus Head statue. Jesus is healing the floating head of a blind hobo. You can just go ahead and purchase it through wallstreetcreations.com. I think it's only like $1200. A small price to pay for fine art AND my happiness.
2) You could kidnap one of the Duggar children for me. I figure there's 18 of them. So really, what's one? They probably wouldn't even notice. One could say that I'll use said Duggar kid to be my slave. I prefer to call him/her My Little Back Rubbin', Sandwich Makin' Buddy. Hop to it, folks. There's only a few days left till xmas.
3) Ryan Gosling would be just great. I've decided I'm off men for the time being and am currently saving myself for The Gos. So any arrangement of a hot date would be greatly appreciated.
4) A bag of money. I'll also accept gold bricks.
And that's it. Why don't you get a pen and paper and jot down this list and make it happen.
Love,
Marisa
2) You could kidnap one of the Duggar children for me. I figure there's 18 of them. So really, what's one? They probably wouldn't even notice. One could say that I'll use said Duggar kid to be my slave. I prefer to call him/her My Little Back Rubbin', Sandwich Makin' Buddy. Hop to it, folks. There's only a few days left till xmas.
3) Ryan Gosling would be just great. I've decided I'm off men for the time being and am currently saving myself for The Gos. So any arrangement of a hot date would be greatly appreciated.
4) A bag of money. I'll also accept gold bricks.
And that's it. Why don't you get a pen and paper and jot down this list and make it happen.
Love,
Marisa
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Thoughts and Emotions for the Week of December 8th.
This past Saturday I met my brother at the Warehouse in Port Costa. It's this bizarro, Twin Peaks-esque, biker bar that my bro and I have always loved to go to... Anyways, so I walk in and there's a bunch of old people sitting at a table next to us ordering food. My brother leans in and is like "I just put on the entire Slayer album on the jukebox... It's hilarious watching elderly people eat a wholesome meal while Slayer is playing." That is exactly why I love my brother. Team Phillips!
Also I had the pleasure of staying home sick yesterday from work and got caught up on my daytime television intake. Whilst, couch bound and outfitted in my finest fat pants, I encountered this:
I saw it and actually said out loud, "whoooa. what the hell just happened here!?".... It's like McDonalds version of Trapped in the Closet... I just don't understand, like this HAS to be a joke? There is no way that McDonalds is actually trying to push a sexy lil' R&B jam about Chicken McNuggets? "Girl, you got a ten piece, don't be stingy." I think he at one point accuses the girl of "dippin' on" him... which I guess is sorta like cheating, but instead of humpin' a random dude, she's eating chicken nuggets without him. And you know what? Quite frankly, If my dude was eating chicken nuggets without me, I'd be PISSED too.
Also I had the pleasure of staying home sick yesterday from work and got caught up on my daytime television intake. Whilst, couch bound and outfitted in my finest fat pants, I encountered this:
I saw it and actually said out loud, "whoooa. what the hell just happened here!?".... It's like McDonalds version of Trapped in the Closet... I just don't understand, like this HAS to be a joke? There is no way that McDonalds is actually trying to push a sexy lil' R&B jam about Chicken McNuggets? "Girl, you got a ten piece, don't be stingy." I think he at one point accuses the girl of "dippin' on" him... which I guess is sorta like cheating, but instead of humpin' a random dude, she's eating chicken nuggets without him. And you know what? Quite frankly, If my dude was eating chicken nuggets without me, I'd be PISSED too.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Listen Up, Dudes.
Alec Greven, makin' dem panties drop.
In the words of my friend Zach Bob, "Watch out Mystery, there's a new cocksman in town." I'd like to introduce you to nine year old Alec Greven who just published his first book, "How to Talk to Girls". His tips to lil' baby dudebros include: "Don't wear sweats and keep your hair combed." I agree whole heartedly, fat pants should be left at home, fellas. And keep your hair tidy, unless you're going for that meticulously messed look. Then it's OK. Also the lil' mack daddy states that "Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil. The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don't let them get to you." And how! I am detecting a little bit of a, jaded with the ladies and love, vibe from him. Which I find odd for someone who hasn't even hit puberty yet... But hey, love is a battlefield, little guy. I guess the sooner you realize it, the better off you are in the long run.... Bitches, man. (sheesh)
Here's some more tips, you guys:
In the words of my friend Zach Bob, "Watch out Mystery, there's a new cocksman in town." I'd like to introduce you to nine year old Alec Greven who just published his first book, "How to Talk to Girls". His tips to lil' baby dudebros include: "Don't wear sweats and keep your hair combed." I agree whole heartedly, fat pants should be left at home, fellas. And keep your hair tidy, unless you're going for that meticulously messed look. Then it's OK. Also the lil' mack daddy states that "Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil. The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don't let them get to you." And how! I am detecting a little bit of a, jaded with the ladies and love, vibe from him. Which I find odd for someone who hasn't even hit puberty yet... But hey, love is a battlefield, little guy. I guess the sooner you realize it, the better off you are in the long run.... Bitches, man. (sheesh)
Here's some more tips, you guys:
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